Friday, May 2, 2008


Well, I guess I will jump on the blogging band wagon...why not?
I never thought I'd be a blogger, but I think this might be good therapy for me.
I think that seeing my thoughts in front of me might help. I'm heading face first into a shit storm and I think I need to button up. My mom just found out she has cancer. It's in her lung and spread to her shoulder. I took her for a PET scan today to see if she has it anywhere else. I never even heard of a PET scan until last week. I think I'll be learning alot of things in the coming months that I hoped to never know. She'll have to have a biopsy of the mass in her lung. The funny thing about it is that I am not as freaked out as I think I should be. I mean, Why am I not a wreck? I should be in constant tears....At least I think I should be.....shouldn't I? I keep thinking that if I'm not that freaked out, then maybe it's because there isn't anything to freak out about....Maybe I have this "sense" that everything is going to be ok? Maybe I'll just have another big bowl of denial.
I have a beautiful daughter. She's the light of our lives. She's 19 mo. old and getting busier and talking more everyday. She's so funny, I still can't believe she's so big so quick.
I have a great husband too. I don't honestly know what I would do without him.
He takes such good care of us...not a jealous bone in his body, funny as anything. Absolutely my very best friend.
We have a dog too. His name is Rufus. He's a puggle. he's also a pain in the ass.
but he grows on me a little more everyday. That's it for now, time to start dinner.
Thanks for reading!


Fooseberry said...

You are an incredibly strong woman and you will survive this and come out stronger.
Talk to Julie and I think she will say the same- Hope is the strongest medicine. Keep your love for her flowing and she will do fine.
Somehow you did find a kooky and totally loving husband. You are a super lucky person.
Continue to write, it will make you feel better and find support. It may be better for me to read instead of talking to you as I am crying for you.
As you know-Call me any day at any time that you need anything.
Much love- Jennifer

henri915 said...

Isn't this a great way to see what people are really thinking.

I love you Bonnie